‘Tumse Na Ho Paayega’: Indian Men Share Toxic Things Their Parents Say To Them

Indians are (in)famous for a bunch of things when it comes to talking about their global reputation. 

From their jugaad to their flavoursome food to making babies at the speed of lightning, one can say there is a lot that India is talked about. Including one other thing which is ‘tough love’. 

© Aamir Khan Prductions

You see, in most of our households, the concept of lauding your children for a job well done doesn’t exist. But what does, is a systematic breakdown of a child’s self-worth and esteem by constantly criticising him and bringing him down. 

And according to a lot of Indian parents, this technique of ‘negative motivation’ works just fine for them, however, it builds a whole lot of resentment in the kids’ hearts for their desi parents.

What is the most toxic thing a parent could say to a child?

— Anjali B. (@TheWayfarerSoul) August 25, 2021

A thread on Twitter, recently, shed some light on all the toxic things that a lot of Indian parents are guilty of saying to their kids, and men seemed to have really let their feelings out by sharing their experiences. 

A Twitter user who goes by the handle of @TheWayfarerSoul asked, “What is the most toxic thing a parent could say to a child?” and honestly, the relatability level with some of the answers was off the charts. 

via GIPHY

From things like, “tumse nahi ho paayega” to brutal revelations like, “I regret having you”, people on Twitter went all out on confessing things they are tired of hearing their parents say. 

“You can never achieve this. Tere se na ho payega…”

It also feels so depressing to see parents venting out their frustrations on kids and verbally/physically abusing them.

— Adyasha (@ArdourDriven) August 25, 2021

gandi aulaad, naa mazaa naa swaad

— Tajinder Singh | ਤਜਿੰਦਰ ਸਿੰਘ (@TXingh) August 25, 2021

Kitna khaye ga

— RJ NASIR (@radionasir) August 25, 2021

Someone even wrote how he hates being asked, “kitna khaayega”, and that struck a chord with almost everyone. 

Ranting about how they are fed up with being compared to ‘Sharma ji ka ladka’ to being told, ‘log kya kahenge’, the thread was an honest rant some of us wish we could tag our parents in.

Always comparing with other children and telling you are failure.

— Yatin (@199125_yatin) August 25, 2021

“Pata nahi pyada kyon kiya”

— Capt_Ck (@Capt_Ck) August 25, 2021

Job kab miligi

— Sajad Yousf Dar (@darrasik78) August 25, 2021

Silent treatment, more than the constant barrage of hurtful things said, would go on for weeks.

Anything “+ive” I achieved was because of who they were. Anything “-ive” was entirely my doing.

I was made to feel a burden when I needed their help.#UnlovedandUnlovable

— DailyWhinehouse (@MarciaPuth) August 25, 2021

Saying “You dont know anything.” always is also toxic and damages the confidence and self-esteem.

— Karthik Raghavan (@kr160182) August 25, 2021

Some comments even reminded us of toxic dads we’ve seen (and detested) in Bollywood movies, much like Ranveer Singh’s dad in Gully Boy or Ronit Roy in almost every other movie where he plays the role of an effed up father figure to the T.

I clothe and feed you so… should never come out of parents mouth for a child. Or get out of the house knowing well enough the child has no place to go. You will never amount to anything. Your sister is prettier. I have a whole bag full of them.

— reader_giggles (@reader_giggles) August 25, 2021

Once my mother told me to go to school tomorrow morning and don’t come back.
“Go kill yourself, Jump from the terrace of the building and die”.
This moment is etched in my memory and has scarred me forever.

— Dave Anand (@dave_anand_) August 25, 2021

While a lot of the comments were commonly heard and relatable, a few of them even turned dark and raised a lot of concern. Like one where a user shared, “I clothe and feed you so… should never come out of parents mouth for a child. Or get out of the house knowing well enough the child has no place to go. You will never amount to anything. Your sister is prettier. I have a whole bag full of them.”

Maybe it’s about time Indian parents realise that belittling their children doesn’t make them successful or self-aware instead, it instils a whole lot of resentment, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy in their minds.