Love Matters: 4 Signs to tell if they’re gaslighting you or you are just dating a jerk

Gaslighting can be defined as lying or manipulating someone in order to persuade them that they are crazy. When someone you’re dating begins to make you question your own reality, the red signs can be difficult to recognise. Gaslighting is not the same as lying or manipulating, both of which have a considerably greater scope than gaslighting. It leads you to doubt your sanity, judgment and even memories. Gaslighting can only occur in a relationship where there is a clear power dynamic: one person with more power and one person with less.

Here we suggest you 4 signs to tell if your partner is gaslighting you in a relationship.

1. They deny what you’ve said or done

Denial is a psychological defense technique used to avoid confronting “uncomfortable truths” in your relationship. Everyone forgets things from time to time, but gaslighters take forgetfulness to a whole new level. If your partner starts calling things you’ve said or done into doubt by claiming they didn’t happen, it’s an indication they’re gaslighting you.

2. They manipulate you

While manipulation is important in gaslighting, it should not be confused with gaslighting. Manipulation is just influence — persuading someone to do or believe something. Manipulation escalates into gaslighting when there is the purpose to gain authority over that individual through influence.

3. When you express your hurt, your partner does not apologize

If you express your pain to your partner and they show zero empathy, this is a red flag. “If your partner does not apologize when you express your hurt but instead convinces you that you should not think what you are thinking or feel how you are feeling,” this is a clear symptom of gaslighting.

4. They make you believe you are not putting your best foot forward in your relationship

You may begin to believe that you are not doing enough in your relationship at some time. When you tried to express your concerns, your partner denied, dismissed, or blamed you. Over time, you may absorb such messages to the point where you believe it is your fault. Both partners will make mistakes in a good relationship, and both partners will apologize when they are wrong. If it’s always one-sided, it’s a sign that the interpersonal dynamic is built around concepts of power and control.

Because gaslighters are such expert manipulators, it can be tough to end a relationship with them. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. Your companion may try to make you feel lonely about your situation once more. But don’t give up. Know that this is another gaslighting method, and that they are attempting to make you feel guilty in order to keep you from leaving.