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An Open Letter To All The Guys I Have Friendzoned


Dear guy who I friendzoned, 

It’s time to address the elephant in the room and come to terms with the fact that being “friendzoned” isn’t a curse after all. If anything, it’s possibly the best thing to happen to you, because when I come as a friend in your life, I bring to the table a lot more than I would have if we ever dated.

© Dharma Productions

Not only am I the kind of friend who will have your back and give you solid advice on any topic but I will also set you up with a lot of single people I know and make your life better just by being in it. 

You see, being friendzoned doesn’t have to mean banishment or come across as consolation of any kind. It’s not a downgrade, but a real upgrade from being just another guy in my life to one who holds real value. 

It means having something stronger than a feeling that will only last a couple of weeks before it fizzles out. It means having someone to hold on to, cry with, laugh with, share deep and dark secrets with, make decisions with, gossip with, go date-hunting with, and most importantly – to always count on. Why? Because this way, neither of us has to get hurt.

© Dharma Productions

I won’t throw the whole ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ thing in your face. Because it really IS you. You are the reason why I wouldn’t want to make things so expendable by dating you when I am certain I don’t have feelings for you. You are also the reason why I would rather choose to keep you in my life for good as opposed to just trying you out like a dress in a store. 

Sometimes, it really is that simple – you are just too precious to lose. And for everyone who tells you ‘a girl and a guy can’t be friends’, it’s because they were always too butthurt to look beyond that angle. We don’t have to be.

© Dharma Productions

Yes, I admit, it must’ve hurt. I can say because I’ve been friendzoned too and it sucked. But over time, I’ve realised that life is nuanced and so are relationships. Two people need not necessarily shove their tongues in each other’s mouths or get the official authority to grab ass for them to mean something to each other. 

They can mean a lot more by being in their life in a different, more platonic way too. But that would mean you learning how to hold back on those feelings of love and asking me out every couple of months despite knowing my answer. It hurts me more than it hurts you.

© Dharma Productions

Don’t aspire to be the Ranbir from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil or Kajol from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, because even Karan Johar won’t be able to help you. Not unless someone tragically dies… 

You don’t have to impress me, buy me expensive gifts, hate on my current dates, dodge my side-hugs, drunk dial and confess your love, take me out on fancy dates on the off chance that I *might* let you hold my hand on the ride back home (because I won’t) and you certainly don’t have to keep me as your priority. 

Most women, including myself, work on butterflies and if they weren’t there for the first ten times we met, they wouldn’t magically come now.

© Yash Raj Films.

It’s okay, it is time to move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and God knows I am an incredible wing-woman. 

What I am not is a sadist or a masochist. I don’t enjoy being the one breaking your heart or leading you on. And it is because I care that I wish for you to direct your efforts towards someone who will reciprocate in the same language. After all, mine starts and ends with friendship.

© Dharma Productions

And the day you stop looking at it as something offered to you out of sympathy, is the day you’ll realise just how multi-faceted, beautiful and legendary this friendship can be. 

P.S – I hope there will be no hard feelings (pun intended).

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