Things That Look Like Fun ONLY In Porn & Should NOT Be Tried At Home…Ever

One of our first sexual experiences in life was most likely through a computer screen, in the wee hours of the night, under a blanket and with half-baked knowledge about what sex or masturbation even was.  

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It was only once we grew up and had real experiences that we understood its meaning, and well.. mechanism. 

However, having set porn as our base for knowledge, there is a chance that we may have adopted a few ideas about sex that aren’t as easy or fun as advertised in those videos. 

Here are a few things that even though seem hot in porn videos, are actually not:

1. Getting Walked In On By ANYONE

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Your step-sister, your teacher, your neighbour, or even your house help, walking in while you’re having sex or masturbating is never going to end up the way it does in porn films. 

There is no happy ending at the end of this tunnel!

2. Workplace Hookups

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As a wise man once said, ‘Don’t hook up where you Vlookup’, thinking that you might be able to do your boss for that extra incentive or a bonus is only a recipe to get locked up and not lucky. 

Never a good idea to dip your pen in the company ink after all. 

3. Doing It On The Floor Of A Public Restroom

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but those spontaneous sexy hook-ups shown in the back of an alley or on the floor of what looks like a public restroom are only hot in porn. 

Because in real life, public washrooms are not just filthy, they’re disgusting and if you were somehow to have sex there, get ready for some yeast infection!

4. Secretly Doing It While Pretending To Have A Normal Conversation 

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You know those videos where they show a woman peeking from behind the door or kitchen counter and making normal conversation with someone all the while getting it from behind? 

Yeah, that is not just NOT possible to go unnoticed, it is also how you may end up getting into a lot of trouble!

5. Having Sex In A Car

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Yes, it is a fantasy of a lot of men out there and making out might be super intense and exciting too. 

But when it comes to having sex, it is not half as seamless as is shown in porn. There is no leg space, the leather sticks to your ass and you’re more likely to get a cramp than an orgasm.

6. Shower Sex

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Water is probably the worst lubricant for your woman and unless you want her vagina to tear up with friction or slip and break your hip in the positions that are shown in such films.

Best to take your business to the bed to avoid mutual destruction.

7. Teacher/Student Affair

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The part where, as a punishment, a professor spanks his student and gives them a ‘job’ to finish during detention is a full-proof way of landing yourself into jail. 

It is wildly inappropriate, not fun and definitely NOT legal.

8. Sex On The Beach

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No matter how big a towel you place on the beach or think it will be romantic, all you’ll end up getting is sand in places you wish you’d never exposed in the first place. 

So, unless you want rashes or to get bitten by insects, make it a hard pass!