Love Matters: Is it time to hit the pause button? 4 Tips for taking a break in a relationship

When a couple is going through a difficult period and finding it difficult to leave each other, they may opt to end their relationship. A break from all of the relationship’s duties, all of the bickering and arguing, a break from the commitment, a break from feeling obligated to look after their partner. However, parting ways after a break is not always the case. Many couples rekindle their romance. This is entirely dependent on how the couple sets the ground rules for the break from the start so that they can both go forward with the same expectations.

If you’re also thinking about taking a break from your relationship and want to know how to do it properly, here are four guidelines for a smooth time apart.

Figure out why you’re in need of a break

Explore why you need a break in the first place by doing some soul-searching. Do you feel that your relationship isn’t as exciting as it could be? Are you at a point in your lives where you’re worried you won’t be able to work together in the long run? The goal is to determine whether your issue is a deal-breaker. If that’s the case, there’s no need to take a break, it’s time to call it quits. 

Talk about the break in person

Because a break from your relationship involves both partners, so should the discussion about taking one. This should be done in person if at all possible. You’ll be able to understand body language and signs that you wouldn’t normally pick up on the phone. Furthermore, seeing someone in person confirms whether or not the feelings are still present.    

Agree on what a break means

Talk to your companion and come up with some ground rules: Is it okay to get along with other people physically? Can you date other people? If at all, how often will you communicate or visit each other? Will you delete each other’s social media accounts? Is it possible to talk about the break with mutual friends? This will be a difficult talk to have, but setting boundaries ahead of time will make the split much easier.

Take time for reflection

Set some goals for this time apart if you are truly committed to working through the issues in your relationship. You want to know what you and your partner are going to focus on during this break and what your strategy is. However, both parties must set aside time for introspection. You shouldn’t have to persuade someone to stay with you, and if you do, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t suitable.

You must take action in order for the break to be useful. You don’t want your relationship to look the same as it did before, whether it means starting couples therapy, improving your communication skills, or something else. Something needs to change, and now is the time to do so.