American-born, not-so-confused desi

Vikas Girdhar: I have been born and raised in New York and, aside from the rare weekend getaway to a neighboring state, have spent my entire life here. I moved from Queens at the age of six to Hicksville, where being Indian meant being part of a glaring minority.

That was in the early 90’s, however. Today, Hicksville is commonly referred to as "Little India" with its rapidly growing desi population and booming sites for Indian shops and grocery superstores.

The ‘Indian-izing’ of Hicksville is something I have witnessed for 20 years. As the years passed, I noticed not only certain aspects of my environment becoming more identical to values of the motherland, but I myself became more comfortable with my expression of them.

I come from a family that places great importance on Indian customs and values the unity they promote. My parents have done an absolutely fantastic job of keeping my brother and myself as informed and aware as possible about our culture. I speak Hindi at home, regularly eat and enjoy home-cooked Indian food and am familiar with and able to participate in poojas. Being in touch with my culture and religion has never been a problem for me. While I am friends with several people who are equally adept at demonstrating core Indian values, I also know many second-generation desis who are not nearly as familiar with elements of their first-generation parents’ upbringings. I would have to attribute many of my experiences to my changing environment.

Going to an elementary school where I could count the number of fellow desi children on one hand was tougher than some may expect. The vast differences between my traditional Indian home life and the aspects of it that I could readily expose in a society not particularly willing to accept them was probably the toughest part about growing up.

The transition between a well-cultured home life and school life is one that strengthens the will of a child if he can master it. Some might say that the transition is inevitable, and they would be right. The important thing to realize is that some of these children feel so "culture-shocked" from either direction that they tend to gravitate towards the one that takes them less out of their comfort zone. The result is a child who is either too ‘Americanized’ and far apart from cultural values or a child that is too oblivious to the way the American society works. Of course, this "struggle" is much easier to tackle as one gets older, somewhat because of increasing maturity levels of both the individual and the society he interacts with. That perfectly coincides with my belief that ignorance finds its most comfortable home in children with parents who haven’t yet opened their eyes to the rest of the world.

For example, if I took Indian food for lunch one day, I would be the center of attention. What I was so comfortable with at home was suddenly a cause of commotion among my non-desi peers. Of course, it took adjustment. I accepted the trades of two separate lifestyles, ignored the stereotypical questions-and those that asked them–and simultaneously became more adept with mastering the values of two separate societies.

In hindsight, it opened my eyes to reality. I see it as such a strength to be so well-versed in both the Indian culture and the American culture, but I feel there are many factors that play a role. The persistence of the parents to teach their children, the environment the children grow up in and finally the willingness of the child to learn-are all equally important.

My views on marriage, religion and other major elements have been shaped by how I’ve been brought up and what I have been able to experience and witness within my surroundings.

It must have been a tougher transition for my parents, I’m positive. I’m just fortunate enough to have been able to carry their lessons forth as a follow-up to their generation.

I already consider it a success to have-for the most part-made a seamless transition between two very different lifestyles. That shy and misunderstood child who seemed "weird" or "too Indian" to other children now comfortably sits and writes about his experiences to an entire newspaper-reading audience, convinced he got the better end of the bargain.