‘Abusive and Angry’: 10 Men Discuss How Therapy Helped Confront Their Darker Emotions

On Aug 16, 2021

BUY-SELL | HELP WANTED | MATRIMONIAL

Oh, the ever existential topic of coping with one’s feelings! No matter how much we try, these darned feelings manage to catch up to us and make us feel things even if we’re not willing to, like reluctant students unwilling to acknowledge that something beyond their control may be influencing their grades.

As men, it’s not easy for us to talk about our feelings. I won’t say we’re not built that way, rather we’re not raised that way. We have grown up in a society where we’ve had a cavalcade of responsibilities thrust upon us from a very young age, yes there might be certain avenues in society where we might benefit from certain privileges, but often what looks like privilege can actually be a double edged sword ready to harm the wielder as well.

Our experiences of growing up as men have unwittingly shaped us, whether we like it or not. Each time we held in a tear for fear of ridicule, we added to our misery. With each smile we snuffed, our distancing from our inner selves magnified till there came a point where we’re utterly incapable of regulating emotions unless it’s through (passive)aggressive means, hyper sexuality or just the good ol’ turning a blind eye to it.

Here are snippets from r/AskMen, where men have decided to confront the mess of emotions that was inside their head with the help of a therapist:

You’ve to be clear and comfortable about your expectations with therapy. If you’re uncomfortable about taking any medications, be upfront about it.

In our country, conversations around mental illnesses are still stigmatised. For many, it isn’t until they’re much older and have undergone therapy for a while, that they begin to realize they might actually be neurodivergent.

Because we’re told to bottle up our feelings, we lose the opportunity to confront the distorted image of us and the world that we paint in our heads.

One of the crucial aspects of therapy is repertoire. It’s not granted that all therapists would work for you. All mental health professionals are unique, and you’ve got to find who best fits your needs.

Therapy can be life changing for some men, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Sometimes its benefits can be more understated.

Don’t give up, if you’ve had a bad experience with a therapist.

Working on yourself with a therapist can give you access to parts of your mind that you didn’t even know existed. As men we tend to shut off these parts to ourselves.

Agoraphobia is quite common in men, and it can definitely be overcome with the help of a therapist.

Certain calamitous moments in life might leave men stunned, unable to respond. A therapist helps you go through these rough patches safely.

No question, thought or feeling is invalid. Even if you’ve been made to feel that way by society.

Men, your feelings are valid. Reach out if you need help.

Your mind is precious and we want you to know that. Learn more about our mental health initiative: His Mental Health

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